I wonder how many people feel trapped in a marriage or long-term relationship?
It may be because you decided to become an ‘item’ before you knew each other well enough. It may be because lust took over and it seemed like a good idea at the time!
Or it may be because one of you decided that being together was the only way to satisfy another issue or need in your life. Read on or skip to the 5 best tips!
It is well-known that many man has been led to the alter or joint home by a pregnant woman and many a woman has been led in similar fashion by a man who ‘needs’ to protect her from life and in particular other men.
There are a hundred and one reasons why you may be in a trapped relationship and by trapped you feel there really is no way out. This will generate feelings of frustration, anger and bitterness. No way to build a happy relationship and if children are involved, this can be a very unsatisfactory way to bring them up and create well-rounded adults.
Well the good news is that there are ways to improve the situation, if not completely mend it. Though once improved a permanent ‘mend’ is always possible.
I teach my clients some easy to learn skills which help to control the emotional pain, anger and frustration. One of which is EFT(Emotional Freedom Techniques)which is a tapping and talking therapy, another is a change to the way they think.
For instance if you have built up resentment of your partner, for whatever reason, I would suggest that you take stock, remember what it was that first attracted you to him or her. This can be quite interesting as it usually triggers good memories.
When Tony was asked this question, he responded by saying “ Helen was just so beautiful and happy and I thought I was in Love”. So what had gone wrong?
Over the last couple of years, Helen had been having a difficult time at work and was unable or unwilling to talk to Tony about it, so he felt excluded. To make matters worse Helen had put on a considerable amount of weight and was no longer interested in her appearance. Intimate relations had dropped off and even cooking and eating together had ceased; so there was no longer any ‘home ground’ left on which to work. They were now two separate people and no longer a couple. (names have been changed for reasons of confidentiality).
In this case I had sessions with both of them separately, using several of my skills, then one session together; they both decided to put in the effort and work together and now they have started again with a clean slate and are no longer in a ‘trapped’ relationship.
5 Best Tips:
- Remember the reason why you are together (Love)
- Take time to talk to each other (not to shout or grumble)
- Every day say something nice to your partner; increase this when you can
- Actively look for ways to help your partner if they are stressed.
- Remember you don’t own your partner, you share him/her with the world
As each person and couple have a different set of issues, I would recommend that if this article effects you, then please book in to talk to me and see how I can help you.
Diane Holliday – love and happiness are your right