I have lived a long time and continue to experience life in full, with all its ups and downs. My life has been interesting, varied and sometimes frightening, often daunting and on occasions consumed with grief and overwhelmed with joy. That is life!
Through all of this, I have become resilient and have no fear; clients who come to me with chronic anxiety and overwhelming worry learn from me the techniques I have used, so this is a short summary that may help you today.
Many of you will have been through similar times, some much more disquieting I am sure, but as we live, we experience and that turn into life skills, or should do!
If your life has been more mundane, you may not have those skills, you may lack resilience and right now resilience is important. Did you know that some people never experience excitement because of fear of the unknown, never love deeply because of fear of rejection, never takes risks…just in case it fails? The overwhelming issue here is fear.
The way I guide my clients is to understand that fear is normal, it protects us from being run over, falling off buildings and generally keeps us alive. But fear, which increases anxiety and worries over things we cannot change, is counterproductive and makes us stressed and ill.
I know that is not easy, stopping our worries is difficult, ceasing to stress over stuff seems to be impossible! But our intelligence reminds us that worrying about wars over which we have no control, the price of domestic fuel and all the changes going on is totally futile but how to stop the worry and control overwhelming anxiety?
The answer is to build resilience: Remember that every action has a consequence. Think about your actions for the day before it happens and plan for eventualities. For instance, the train you will get is at 7.45, but if it is delayed or cancelled, you know which bus to get or call a cab, of course, you have the number on your phone.
….or you are taking your small children to school and then you will go to work. You get a call from the school at 7 am to say it is closed for the day due to ***** so the contingency plan is to take child(ren) to your mothers/friend.
Really this is all about being prepared, organising your life so that the usual bumps in the road can be smoothed over quickly and without undue fuss. Rather like getting some extra groceries when there is a storm coming, keeping one step ahead of the monthly bills, having a little savings in the bank. This is practical resilience.
Emotional resilience is another thing: Every thought has a consequence. Knowing you cannot change much in this world and that you can only change yourself is a start.
Being capable of change is the thing. Being flexible in your thoughts rather than dogmatic, finding ways to build and retain self-esteem, knowing that personal kindness comes back to you and finding ways of reducing your stress. Knowing that when you are upset you have an emotionally safe place to go in your mind. Visualise your happy place and rest there, let the world rush by until you are feeling clear and calm.
The stress bit is the easy one because stress is alleviated by being in nature, making yourself exercise, doing something for someone who needs help, being proactive, and your fears will subside.
One more thing…. don’t keep repeating your problem to others. Your friends, neighbour, even your other half do not need to know all about the minutiae of your current issues or thoughts….doing so magnifies them…..take a deep breath and let them go.
There, in simple terms is how to build resilience….and this conquers fear.
I wish you peace in your mind, calm in your thoughts and love in your heart….
Work with me and find the life you want and deserve.
https://www.dianeholliday.co.uk/contact-eft-expert
Diane K Holliday
Life Coaching with Wisdom & Integrity
Top Quality Confidential Coaching to get you through the changes you need, to achieve wellness in mind, body and spirit.
Tel: (44) 01273 640895/ 07989 078556