It’s nice to feel independent and of course it’s something we aim for from childhood, or most of us do. It can be scary at first, learning to cope without parents or guardians; having to manage our money, our relationships and a life on our own.

We are never truly alone in the sense of being on our own, as there are people around us all the time (unless you are on an island on your own) but being solitary is not the same, we can feel very lonely in the middle of a crowded room, as I am sure we all have experienced.

Independence is the ability to cope with life without the need for approval or agreement from anyone else, the opposite if this is the ability to share with and help others and we need a good dose of each to make a happy life, ideally becoming a combination.

So if being an independent person is a requirement of a fulfilled life, at what point do we become needy and then dependant on others?  Well for most people it’s the time we find a partner, maybe have a family and the independent streak changes to interdependency. There is the need to be with that person and/or children and it’s a physical as well as an emotional need.

Life will change again for most people as dependency wanes; love becomes less intense, children move on and love their own partners and there comes a time when many of us have to learn real independence again.

Age gives us grandchildren, pets, sick friends and we have others being dependant on us all over again. Just be independent of the outcomes and share with whoever you are with at the time…!

If you are not able to cope with loneliness or dependency, please contact me to talk this through.

 Diane Holliday