We go all through life, mostly taking the rough with the smooth, sometimes harbouring a grudge or resentment but mostly I think we try to remember the happy times, especially as family members age and leave us, and not dwell on feuds and arguments that may have left distasteful memories, though I know that sometimes this is not easy.
We also may have had childhood illness or trauma, and these experiences can seem impossible to leave behind, they tend to crop up at unexpected times and promote feelings of emotional distress and anxiety.
If you were to run your life like a movie (which is one of the most popular EFT procedures) would you find that some parts still make you feel deep emotional pain, a cringe, a cry of grief or laughter, maybe all of these ?
My first ‘cringing’ memory was in junior school, when Mr Smith a rather large and overbearing maths teacher, made fun of me in front of the whole class. “Let’s see what our star pupil can make of this” he said, as he chalked a simple sum on the blackboard. “Now Diane let’s see if you know the answer!”
I turned a deep shade of red, far too frightened to even think, never mind come up with a reply. It was humiliating, painful and created in me a deep a fear of maths. In those days, parents were not in the habit of saying how clever, beautiful, amazing and intelligent we were…. we were not praised like children are these days, not knocked down much either, but encouraged to just get on with it.
It took many years of work to start feeling confident at all, but especially with numbers and even now I refer to a calculator when I have doubts. This did not stop me becoming a decent management accountant, QBE (qualified by experience) and having many years using numbers for a living.
What did this particular episode teach me?
That I can do anything if I put my mind to it, and that making people feel small and insignificant is not a nice thing to do. The latter fortunately and more surprisingly, has proved much more beneficial in the long run, though both lessons were fundamental in my personal development.
At the time, I struggled to cope with the emotional pain of humiliation and lived with low self-esteem for many years; until I learned about EFT(Emotional Freedom Techniques) and then all that pain and stress just left me, and I was inspired to help others.
Now in my seventies, my character is one based on kindness, compassion and love, not always easy; but because I know the pain of unkindness and humiliation, that is one of the best lessons my life has taught me. I have, in short, understood the lesson and acted upon it.
Though this one event seems insignificant, you can see that even that had repercussions. Many people, including me, have much more difficult issues to deal with and those influences go on all through life, until addressed and changed.
I have worked with several clients in recent years who were suffering from longstanding issues, mostly from their early life, subsequent difficult relationships and some, even the area of work. We hold these traumas in our body, and even more than everyday stress, these big issues are more likely to take a toll on our health, both physically and mentally.
My most recent client made me think of new ways to help address these issues; in addition to EFT which is a great start, I have developed a method that deals with each each trauma, as most of them can be defined as traumatic, by finding a new way of looking at and understanding them.
Maybe your life has given you lessons that you have been unable to identify or deal with because of the pain, look again and see what good can come out of a shift in thought and perception. Cease living your life in fear, anxiety or grief, when there is a better way.
Learning from the lessons that life teaches us, can be profound and healing, so I am offering some special sessions tailored to each client. Skype sessions, as I normally provide, but including written feedback, to help with recall and retention; sometimes it may take a while to get through a difficult part of your life’s lessons, so having it written down, with the formula for change is important.
If you are interested in getting over the emotional obstructions that are standing in your way to a better life, and turning them in positive lessons, please contact me.
Deep emotional pain, just a cringe, crying with grief or laughter….I would rather laugh, join me!
Diane – still learning the lessons from a long life