I think most people realise that many children are not listened to, talk to or included in adult conversations….headlines in the weekend newspapers were highlighting the fact that the majority of parents no longer sit around the dinner table discussing the day’s events with their family.
Well no surprises there..! Even when my children were young, in the late 60’ and 70’s, it happened and in most of my friends families. Many fathers were never home until 7.30 pm or later, and the children would be in bed. I would sit and talk about the day with my kids at tea time, but I know my husband, like many of his contemporaries, felt left out of their children’s developmental early years. But work came first and this took many men away from home, long-term on occasions.
This slowing and changing of family communications was not helped by the emergence of the television; even more so now, with electronic gadgets and smart phones.
I have been looking after one of my granddaughters during the summer holiday, she is eleven going on 25! Though we had lovely times going out, she was much happier being left to her own devices in her room with her smart phone and tablet. She was mostly texting her friends, also on holiday…I have no idea what all this must cost. Her face to face communication skills were good, polite, loving and funny… but short; I have memories of her mother being the same but at an older age!
Maybe children are just growing up faster, having access to things and ideas that we would not be open to until we were in our late teens or early twenties. If this is the case, then they need even more support from adults as their peer group may not even be known to the parents. Their ‘on line’ friends are a special risk, as young people may be open to grooming.
In my work with EFT clients I often find that hidden trauma from childhood remains with them, and in many cases has created the emotional pain they are still experiencing. Emotional pain can give rise to other issues, such as dependency on alcohol or drugs, the inability to hold a relationship together or bringing up children who then experience the same trauma as their parents.
Please find the time and place to be open to children’s needs, ALL children, not just your own. Take an interest, watch out for them. Never turn your back on a child that needs reassurance and love. As they say ‘our children are our future’, so help to make sure they grow into competent and caring adults, uncluttered by negative influences. There is time enough to take on adult issues as they get on in years, not to have it thrust upon them before they are mature enough to cope.
If you relate to any of the area mentioned and need help or reassurance, please contact me and together we can set you free.
Diane – smile, happiness is catching!