Love yourself more, but how?

by | Jun 24, 2024 | a spiritual life, blessings, Later life, Relationships, Wellness, Widowhood

It seems that on social media and in recent books, the mantra of ’love yourself’ is predominant.

It’s everywhere, including on my blogs and posts occasionally but today I would like to explain why.

To love ourselves is not egotistic or selfish, it is the fundamental starting point of life…and we have mostly forgotten how.

The following is in an ideal or normal world, not everyone experiences life like this, and there are variations, so bear with me:

When we are born, we cry for our food and comfort, we make eye contact with our primary carer to ensure they fall in love with us. This is self-love and survival, and at that time we know no other way.

In time we start to rely on our parents/carers for more than sustenance and in their absence, we feel lonely and miss them. That is learning love for others, but still, our primary concern is ourselves.

If we have siblings we learn about possessions, greed, rivalry and anger and only when we are a bit more grown-up do we feel love.

So, to re-learn self-love is not to indulge in fixes, holidays, new clothes and all that stuff, but to bring our emotions back to the beginning of life.

  • Acknowledge that you are vulnerable: you have been putting a brave face on life for a long time.
  • Understand that the only person who knows YOU is you.
  • The love you have experienced has been different from the one(s) you have loved.
  • Love is more about you than the person or people for whom you feel love.
  • Those who you love are also doing it for themselves, not you… it is a two-way trade.
  • Loving yourself is being yourself, for instance, the way you dress, and look must be for you not for anyone else.
  • Integrity and honesty are learned, and you still have time – be honest with yourself.
  • You are loved, know that you love yourself… there is no one else.

Of course, we can love other people, we feel affection and for some very special people, we have feelings that go deeper. Not being with that person can be physically and emotionally painful, which is why grief at the loss of a close one can feel irreconcilable.

But prominently our love is for ourselves, that is why we enter relationships, trade our tenderness, and barter our affection You love me, and I will love you and when this fails, we can fall out with our very best friends, divorce a spouse and sever contact with family… it’s all about me!

Taking all this inward, without dismissing it as not possible, is the start of a love affair with self that grows the emotions of compassion and empathy and provides a heart and soul filled to the top with passion for all things… then you will understand self-love.

Diane – loving all and everything because I have the love within…Namaste

Contact me to start this wonderful journey with me as your guide.. yes it is possible xx



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I get asked ‘how many sessions will I need’ and it’s not easy to say before we start work, but I recommend three. One to get to understand the issues and learn the technique, two to get to the core and sort out the problems, and three, to sweep up the pieces, consolidate the learning and check that all is well!

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