Did you have a good time over the Christmas and new year parties, did you find yourself a new love?
It seems that often a new acquaintance can seem very romantic seen through a haze of alcohol and the camaraderie of parties and friends. Then in the cold light of day, when sober again and back to work, the romance may be less than perfect and living with the consequences starts.
So many people can be seduced into a new life with a new partner when really the new year is a time to take stock of what you already have and where you are in your own life, before getting into a relationship that may not be ideal.
Jenny called me a week or so into January, asking to come and see me over a relationship issue that had all the marks of the scenario set out above. Her new man was charming, considerate, good-looking and not a church mouse on the money front….what was not to like? But as it transpired he was becoming a bit obsessive and Jenny found this a bit scary.
Jenny admitted that she had rather let her guard down at the same time as her hair, and had told him things about herself that would have been better said at a much later stage in the relationship. The man, we shall call Gordon for this purpose, had latched onto something about Jenny and though there was a mutual attraction is seemed that Gordon had focused on her sexually rather than anything else. Jenny is not repressed in that area, maybe the bit she could have held back, but would have much preferred to have friendship at the top of her list.
Gordon was constantly calling her mobile and engineering time alone for sex and then leaving her and getting on with his life. Jenny was feeling used, well she would in those circumstances, even though she enjoyed her time with Gordon. This was a pattern that Jenny had repeated many times before, but she really wanted this one to be different.
So what to do to re-address this issue? Well there was no way to change what happened, but by using some of my methods and techniques we refined in our sessions, things can be changed for the better.
Well apparently my methods worked a treat for Jenny and Gordon and they are still in a close and loving relationship but with much less emphasis on sex and much more being together in friendship and love. Even looking forward to Valentines Day and another party…!!
Talk to me about my methods and get your relationship, with whoever it is, back on track.
Diane – mentoring you through life