It’s strange, but when I see clients with relationship issues, they almost always start by telling me how tired they are! Being tired is no big deal; everyone gets lethargic by doing too much, or by being pressured at work or caring for young children. We know that this will pass, but being tired of the one person in your life that you profess to love, is another matter.
One client, let’s call him Tony, admitted that his wife exhausted him; after a day at work she would talk ‘at him’, regaling him with trivialities, stories about her friends and what SHE wanted. He had hardly any time to draw breath and have his dinner!
Another client, a woman in her mid-forty’s, (we will call her Joan), was so emotionally drained by her husband that she was contemplating leaving her marriage, though she still loved him. In this case it seemed that he was excessively ‘needy’, always wanting her attention in a childlike way; a trait more often associated with women.
Being needy is the common denominator in both of these cases; both couples have lapsed into roles that no longer serve them in their relationship. Tony had forgotten that listening, showing interest is not only polite, but what his wife NEEDED. If he had been able to interact, he could cut the dialogue short and add his own anecdotes of his day at work.
In this particular case, a course in tapping skills (EFT) enabled him to understand is wife’s needs; they started to talk to each other, not at each other.
Joan needed to express herself without injuring her husband emotionally. She so wanted to say ‘Back off, leave me alone’ but of course this is hurtful and unnecessary. Her needy husband required reassurance and appreciation; once this was offered, his constant requirement for attention dropped, and the marriage was saved.
As part of my relationship work, with EFT and coaching, I explain to my clients the principle that ‘We cannot change anyone else, only can only change ourselves’.
So what to do? We change our reaction to the situation, and our partners imperceptibly ‘get’ this change. They then change; as this is now easy and non-confrontational. We send out the right signals and we can then ‘match’ each other’s energy and vibration.
So Tony changed his attitude to his wife’s talking AT him, and Joan offered more love and time to her husband. Both spouses reacted well within the couple of weeks I worked with my clients and these relationships have continued to flourish; being ‘tired of each other’ vanished.
Their energy is now matching…..vibrational harmony reigns!
If you need to talk about your relationship in confidence, then contact me to book a free, no obligation chat.
Diane – smile, happiness is catching!