It has been a while since I have posted on here, or anywhere! Yes, I had an accident, lots of people do, but I have had to wonder why.
The lessons have been profound, as I ask why a fit and active woman such as me, just taking a walk in the park.
Well, the first is that my pride, in being that fit and active woman at eighty, comes crashing down… pride before a fall, I recall my Mother saying.
The second is, why not me? Maybe it is karma, I have not had a perfect life, does this wipe the slate clean?
The third, maybe to stop me from doing what I was doing and give me time to look for a greater purpose in my old age, and this is the most profound lesson.
Now the fog of several weeks of morphine has cleared, I have used the time to contemplate the existence that I had been living. My work with clients coping with loss and grieving has been part of me, as that was my experience. Now I see that trauma comes with a capital T and a small t…. which is also now my experience.
Trauma that creates damage and pain to the body will eventually mend, at least to some degree. Trauma that comes from grief melds into a permanent emotion that settles in the body, and only time and therapy will heal that.
So does that mean that all trauma is just like an accident, yes!
It is all part of a life that we live, not to exist but to feel, to experience, and to grow some resilience and backbone. To release the fears that hold us back from doing things, from taking calculated risks, from talking to strangers, who, of course, in the main, are just like us.
When we look at our traumas, even small ones, we can see the people who will rise above them and eventually thrive and those who crumple into despair and say that their lives are ruined.
We are not broken human beings, we are souls dressed up in earthly clothing just for these experiences.
Every difficult relationship, every loss of a loved one, every fear, and every trauma or accident is there to make us think and to help us achieve our greatness.
Of course, I will get better, I am walking again, though slowly, I am writing and seeing clients, I have things to do, all encouraging me to be resilient, and this can be the same for you.
Building resilience is not easy to start with, so we need to do something towards it every day. Think through your day as you wake, know it will be good, rehearse the challenges that may come up and give them a happy ending….all before that first cup of tea or coffee.
This visualising of the day to come is a technique I have used for many years. For instance, as the pain hit after the accident, all I could do was see my rescuer as an angel in human form, then knowing that my son would find me at the hospital, despite him being an hour and a half away and that the wonderful NHS would take care of me and tapping away to reduce the pain (EFT) and of course, it all came to pass….
This removed the fear and anxiety that would normally accompany such an accident and helped me remain calm and focused.
Having relinquished control of myself to the medical staff, I was no longer able to function in a normal way, time became unimportant, and as the days and weeks in the hospital slipped by it took some strength of character to pull myself out of the institution and its care, and remember who I was and more importantly who I now wished to be.
Spending time doing nothing has become a joy. I sit by the window and listen to the sounds of birds, look over the sea and have no feelings of guilt. How often do we rest and feel we should be doing something? ….stop that now, no remorse, there is no such thing as wasted time when we understand why we are here.
If you have read Eckhart Tolle and his teaching on ‘Being in the Now’, you will understand how joyful not worrying about anything can be, how refreshing taking pleasure in the small things and making every moment one of love and joy can be.
Love and kindness always….. Diane