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Following on to my previous blog, which of course was only one view of relationships issues, I consider that one fundamental not mentioned is change.

Although I did cover the fact that everyone changes, I think it would make it clearer to consider that as we are unable to change another person, we have only ourselves with which to work.

We would all find it’s difficult to continue in a relationship that is fundamentally flawed; by violence, physical or mental, or blatant dishonesty including sexual involvements outside the relationship. These are actions that do not come under the umbrella of aggravations, these are deal breakers.

It has been shown many times, that a shift in one of the partners’ attitude to the other, can gradually create a new vibration that heals any rifts. If you are unsure about vibration, check the diagram at the end of this article.

For instance, say you have been having cross words (a bloody great row) about the time your partner gets home on week nights, and nothing changes. The dinner is ready and it’s another no show…..!

In my way of thinking with energy work, is that each time the subject is raised the energy around it becomes more and more negative, and so the love vibration between you goes down. Every time the scene is replayed, the tension creates that tight suffocating atmosphere that sensitive people find so hard to cope with. The longer one broods, the more tension fills the air.

In order to get the higher vibration, it is a great idea for both parties to think differently and make changes, but even if only one does something, it will change for the better.

As in the above scenario, talking is no longer an option, so the aggrieved one has to stop complaining… just for a while. Just let the subject drop and then……start being happy when the partner arrives late. That ‘happiness’ is a high vibrational feeling or thought, translated into energy, positive energy.

Deep down you love this person, warts and all. You are in a relationship after all……..so … think…’happy to see you home….. happy you came home to me (even it was late)!’ This is being kind and polite, as you would be for anyone, and don’t forget, being polite and respectful is not the same as being a doormat.

You may have to fake it to start with, but the energy you will be using will be filled with good INTENTIONS and love.  The dinner will keep, it’s not that important in the great scheme of things and is hardly more important than a good, solid, happy and loving relationship.

Getting things into perspective, even when you are hurting, is the way of change for the better. You can even use the ‘pain’ of anger or frustration and direct it upwards, to gratitude and acceptance.

I have helped many couples over the years and one woman told me that faking a smile when she was angry made her feel so much better, that in time, it became real and spontaneous; her husband on the other hand, had got used to her scowling and being cross over certain issues and was quite overwhelmed with love when her saw her smiling.

You can use this technique in all similar areas of conflict; accept it, then love it….and forgive yourself for not doing it before. You only know, when you know. Just try and it see.



When I teach you about energy, you will understand about negative energy and how it sucks; it drags you down and it takes away the joy in life. It needs to be managed and hopefully turned in positive energy, which will pull you upwards towards a happy life.


Diane – smile please!


  Love of Self
  ————–Plateaux ———————-
  Thoughts of death
  Loss of Self


We are all energy and all energy vibrates; you can think yourself into a high vibration almost as easily as letting negative energy make you feel low.

Yes, it takes work; every time you feel less than good ask yourself “Is there a better way to think?”

Every morning when you wake you are on the plateaux and you have a choice of how to think. This choice makes the rest of your day wonderful or a trial.

‘Today I choose to be happy and grateful’…….do this check every time you think you are slipping into negative thoughts and you will be amazed how life turns round for you.