It is said that opposites attract, but in a long term relationship it can become very tiresome, coping with the ideas or lifestyle of a person who has the opposite opinions and routines.
For instance, take a couple who are attracted to each because of the differences in personality; the young woman is gregarious, outgoing and sociable, quite often doing too much and then getting stressed. She falls in love with a gentle, easy-going man who just wants a normal peaceful and happy home, and content to work hard for her and his family.
She sees in him the peace and stability she longs for and he sees in her, the fantasy, the achiever, the amazing free spirit that he could never be.
Most people understand that we all change and grow, and in any long term relationship the participants will move from one area of life to another, the hope at the outset is that the couple move on together.
If the relationship starts early in life there is more chance that the union will come to an end, just because the ‘growing up’ period before middle age is the most dynamic and divisive time in most people’s lives.
Women see their children off to school (if they choose to have any) and maybe go back to work. Others may get a more responsible job, having climbed up the ladder and they will, by definition have less time and energy to spend on their partner.
Men, on the other hand may have already reached a personal pinnacle of success then decide to get a Harley Davidson and cruise through Africa! The mid-life crisis is not just the preserve of men, though it has become somewhat of a cliché.
We will all become dissatisfied with what life has given us at some point, without realising that we created it ourselves. It is when that thought takes hold and you know that if you created this bit, you know you can create something better.
A complete change is not always the answer, changing partners can be painful and disruptive. But for some, just living the same old way can make life appear to be prison. It is much more difficult of course if the partners, one or both, have used sex outside the relationship to bolster confidence or create a reason to split.
Once again, we create what we think about, so if or when you become ‘off line’ with your partner question your creation and select better choices that will make up the next chapter of your life, together or apart.
This time create what is good for both parties, see the differences, and there will be many, as reasons to love; protect and cherish the irritations and aggravations…. we all have them.
Live your life in harmony, not with regrets of what night have been, see life and partnerships through the eyes of acceptance, forgiveness and love.