I love but do I trust?

by | Nov 6, 2023 | a spiritual life, blessings, Relationships

Love is a wonderful thing but as it has a high vibrational frequency and can quickly turn to hate, not that we really hate a loved one you understand, but we can quickly take a dislike to something they said or did.

If that goes further because of the action of that person we can loathe them for it and trust is gone.

The definition of trust is a firm belief in the integrity, ability, or character of a person. I would suggest that if we took a quick look around our circle of friends and family they will mostly come up as trustworthy but spread further to politicians, water companies or estate agents, and we may think differently…..!

Do you trust yourself, of course you do……I don’t trust myself around chocolate, just another piece, but would never steal anything. Think about it, trust is debatable and there are individuals who do not have the capacity to be honest and trustworthy….you will know some I am sure.

Trust in a relationship is not always easy, especially if we have been let down, even more so for instance if we have been cheated on by somebody in our past.

We all tell ‘white lies’, not to condone this, but it is a fact and sometimes it eases life along. I have told fibs about the amount of money an outfit cost, to spare the lecture on wastefulness! I am sure you have all done similar. But these are not acts of treachery that negate trust, these are the little ploys that keep us all sane!

But there are times when trust in our partner (read husband, wife, significant other) is severely tested and we can feel that our world is imploding, and we search for solutions.

To help to overcome this, remember trust can be earned. We all make mistakes and when a person is truly contrite, add a few months and we can trust again…usually, and this depends on how much love is there in the first place.

The person we do not trust has a life that we do not know, we never know another person’s thoughts, intentions, or background. We may think we know, but does anyone else know your thoughts, or why you think the way you do?

When we are ‘in love’, these are stages in our lives that come and go, we can feel transported and briefly lose our connection with reality. Head in the clouds maybe, but feet should remain firmly on the ground; trust is earned and when we have sufficient self-respect, we can expect the same from our partner.

When suspicion turns to knowing that something is wrong, then trust is gone until the truth is found. Which could be, of course, that there were no grounds for worry in the first place. Always check before accusing anyone of anything, it will make you furious and everyone else outraged, not a good look and a recipe for a bit more than angry words! This could end a once-happy relationship forever.

Most people have a trusting nature but when they find that their expectation is not delivered, they will think again and change direction. Always consider your own feelings first, but as a couple you both count, this is also more important when you have a family that depends on you both.

What to do: When confronted by mistrust, take a deep breath, and count to ten, you are in control. Now think it through again, nobody is completely right or wrong. Is your love deep and strong or shallow and superficial? How do you want to feel? Try not to feel out of control or helpless, that will make it all seem much more difficult.

The solution is to compromise until you feel you understand the situation completely, then make plans to sort it out long-term…. that way you are back in control.

You don’t have to DO anything…stop and ponder for a while but it would help to write down your feelings in a book or journal and keep it safe.

All we all want in life is to be happy, it helps when we make other people happy too……

I am unable to get all I want to say in one blog, so more on this next time…..

Diane – here for you when issues get too much to handle alone.

Contact me here and I will get back to you…

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You may be interested to know that, if you have ANY issue that you are not able to cope with on your own, by contacting me we be able to sort it out together…

I get asked ‘how many sessions will I need’ and it’s not easy to say before we start work, but I recommend three. One to get to understand the issues and learn the technique, two to get to the core and sort out the problems, and three, to sweep up the pieces, consolidate the learning and check that all is well!

So contact me for more information.

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