It has been a strange time, saying goodbye to our Queen Elizabeth is sad and devastating for the family. She must have been well loved; you could see the grief written on their faces.
Like most people, we become orphans when our parents pass on, even when you may not have had the best of relationships with your mother, it is still hard to see their lives end. Even more difficult when you have had a deep love and respect, the pain of grief can be hard to take.
Grief is universal, grief is painful, and grief cannot always be left behind. It’s easy to say to people during a time of mourning, “don’t worry you will get over it soon” or “you will be OK in a few days” because that is not what happens.
Deep grief on the loss of one loved deeply, will never go away, it remains in the body and mostly those who are grieving don’t want it to go. In some ways, after the first few weeks of loss, the resurfacing of grief is a remembrance and feels comforting. My husband died some years ago now, his passing was expected but it still came as a shock and now any high-profile death brings me back to those moments of sorrow and emotional pain. He is still there; I still grieve, and I like that.
It was a bit like with the Queen, we all recognised her age and fragility, but it happened so fast it was a shock for most of us. I am happy that she was not ill, she did not linger in a hospital bed, her suffering we hope was minimal, and her passing was quiet. Dignity in death, as in life, we can all hope for our passing to be as such.
Grief is remembering, grief lasts forever and changes, so if you are missing a special person, know that just the remembering can be comforting. Remember the enjoyable times and the happy days and be grateful that they were in your life.
Diane – resting in the sure knowledge that I too will die, but not just yet please!