Did you know that we all have had a trauma at some point in our lives?
You don’t have to be a combat soldier, a prisoner of war or have a car accident to have experienced trauma. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is really all about the bad stuff and there are very effective ways to help and support people with such great shock and disturbance.
But we all experience trauma of some kind. Our problem may seem trivial if we compare it to some people’s lives, but it is how we perceive our problems that make them traumatic… or not.
We can make things much worse by retelling the story, as each time little embellishments may creep in, just for effect. The more people who exclaim “Oh you poor thing”, That is tragic for you”, and “You must be so upset” the more you get to enjoy your trauma…. yes enjoy!
You get sympathy, you get immediate consolation, you may get a bunch of flowers. Then eventually your family and friends will forget it and get on with their own lives and your trauma will still be in you, creating damage.
Many of us have experienced grief with the passing of a loved one, real and lasting deep grief, which is also a trauma, but when our loss is put in perspective, we understand that this is not just happening to me, it happens to everyone. The only certainty of life is that we all will die!
As I work with clients from all backgrounds and ages, I have found that neither background, nor age makes any difference to the perception of trauma, but certain cultural upbringings do have the edge.
A person who believes in Karma, for instance, has an idea that the issue was always meant to be, so why get upset about it? Another with a background in a major religion may say it was God’s wish, so just get on with your life.
It is only when we can stand back and view the incident with fresh eyes that we can begin to understand the ‘WHY ME’. Why not me? We need to take stock, without blame or recriminations, but just to really see what the issue is. Examine it, see it from all angles and then change the way you think about it.
Stuff happens, it may have nothing to do with your karma, it could be personal or somebody else’s carelessness, if could be due to illness in mind or body…. many things could conspire to make you feel traumatised.
Some people carry trauma from childhood and never offload it… which will often make them physically or mentally ill. In those cases, it takes a while to help them see and release the baggage they are carrying.
The faster we get over a crisis the sooner the crisis is put away, any damage to our emotional body is dealt with by acceptance that it happened, that you are in control of your emotions, and you are the keeper of your soul.
Unless you have done the ‘inner work’ you will not be in a position to master your emotions, you will, not only feel the immediate anguish and distress but it will stick with you for a long time.
Don’t expect that anyone else can make you better or take away the pain. For instance, I can teach you how to control and command your emotions, so that any trauma, big or small can be dealt with swiftly and completely, but I can’t fix it, only you can do that.
In case you are worried about karma, there is no need to. Karma only hits you in the back when you have not repented or forgiven…after that no karma!
Be grateful for what is good in your life, the little things that make you happy and rejoice that your soul will go on forever…
Diane …helping you to get over life’s struggles – Love and kindness always xx